The art of mastering money conversations
Talking money confidently is a superpower. It not only boosts your earning potential but cements your role as the go-to resource in your friend group. So what’s the etiquette?
People’s comfort levels diverge when it comes to compensation conversations. One peer or manager could be an open book, while another won’t be. How you raise the subject can set the tone. Some tips for you to navigate gracefully:
Knowledge is key – Get smart on the earning potential of your role. This includes understanding the nomenclature that is (or is not) standard to the role/company/industry you’re eyeing - signing bonus, year-end bonus, commission incentives, option grants, stock grants. This sets the tone that you're both serious and realistic.
Words make a difference – MoneyGirls believes in transparency in order to elevate all women’s earning potential. When you gather intel though, don’t make it personal. “How is a role like yours compensated?” is easier for someone to answer than “How much are you paid?” Basing your info-gathering on industry, company, level, years of experience is more useful anyway. Especially in large companies, compensation is often mapped out precisely. Going “out of the band” requires a strong case.
Pay it forward - If you’re doing intel gathering, be the person in your peerset to aggregate the information and share it for the benefit of all. Create a doc that allows for friends to input (even anonymously) their compensation so everyone is smarter for it.
We’ve all been there. You picked up the tab and everyone said they’d Venmo you. Now, it seems some may have forgotten their Venmo logins... How do you gracefully collect?
Public alert – Start with a group text asking everyone for the owed amount while sharing your Venmo handle. Gentle follow-up nudge with an actual request via Venmo is totally OK.
Private follow-up – A 1:1 text may be more personal than a Venmo reminder. Another way to not put someone on blast? A gentle “If cash flow’s tight right now, no worries, get me back next time” can do wonders. Pro Tip: Ask another friend to confirm payment in the group chat to wake everyone else up.
Communicate - Ensure people know that you’ll be Venmo requesting. There’s nothing worse than getting a random request for a salad someone bought you 3 months ago (Karen, we see you).
We’ve been in this situation many times. Reframe the conversation from “I can’t afford it” to “That sounds fun! It’s more than I’d like to spend on that though.” This reframing puts you in the driver’s seat, where you are coming from a place of control and making smart choices about how to spend your money.
Remember the MoneyGirls ethos - talking about money is weird only if you make it weird. You’re not alone: We’ve heard from many women on this topic — so you might just be surprised that some of your friends may also be grateful for a break in expensive brunches.